Finding Your Balance: How to be the best version of yourself while parenting teens.

Hey there, fellow parents. If you're in the thick of raising teenage girls like I am, you already know the ride can be wild. One minute they’re your little girls, laughing with you, and the next, they’re giving you that look - you know the one. And as much as we’d love to keep everything smooth sailing, sometimes it feels like we're trying to juggle it all while walking a tightrope.

Here’s the thing: we can’t control everything, and trying to will only wear us down. But what we can do is focus on what’s within our reach, take a deep breath, and let go of the rest. Let’s talk about how to do that.

What’s in Your Control (Hint: It’s Not Everything)

As parents, we often feel like it’s our job to fix everything, smooth every rough patch, and shield our kids from all the storms. But here’s the truth: we can’t control how our daughters feel about their friends, their outfits, or whether they roll their eyes at us (again). Trying to control every little thing is like chasing the wind.

Instead, focus on what’s actually in your control. You can control how you react, how you show up for them, and how you take care of yourself. You can’t change their moods, but you can be a calm, steady presence when things feel rocky.

Reframe Your Energy

When your teenage daughter slams the door or brushes off your attempt at conversation, it’s easy to take it personally. But one of the most freeing things I’ve learned is that their emotions aren’t a reflection of me. Their mood swings, attitude, and frustration? That’s them navigating their world. You don’t have to take all of that on.

Instead, focus your energy on what builds you up. Maybe it’s a walk around the block, a cup of tea, or a quick chat with a friend. When you fill your own cup, you’re better equipped to handle those teen moments with grace. Let their storms be their storms. You don’t have to get swept up in it.

Take Time for Yourself (No, Really)

I know, I know - it’s easier said than done. But remember this: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Whether it’s 10 minutes in the morning for a cup of coffee in peace, or a quiet moment before bed to read a book (that isn’t about parenting), give yourself permission to not be “on” all the time. It’s not selfish - it’s survival.

Here’s a little trick: set a small, doable goal for yourself each day. Maybe it’s as simple as drinking more water or taking a five-minute stretch break. These tiny, manageable things keep you grounded and remind you that you’re still you - not just someone’s parent.

Focus on the Relationship, Not the Drama

Teenage girls will test limits - it’s practically their job description. But what matters most isn’t the arguments about curfews or who didn’t do the dishes. It’s the relationship you're building for the long haul. The goal isn’t to control their every move, but to guide them, love them, and be there when they need you.

When things feel tense, try to remember the bigger picture. You’re raising strong, independent girls, and sometimes that means they’ll push back. It’s normal. But underneath it all, they’re still looking to you for support - even if they won’t admit it.

Let Go of Perfection

Spoiler alert: you’re not going to do this perfectly. And you know what? That’s OK. It’s not about getting every moment right or having all the answers. It’s about showing up, trying your best, and learning as you go. Cut yourself some slack.

And when those tough days happen (because they will), remember: you’re still doing an amazing job. Just by caring, showing up, and trying to figure it all out, you’re already the best parent for your girls. The rest? We’ll figure it out along the way.

So, here’s to focusing on what we can control: our mindset, our reactions, our self-care. Let’s stop wasting energy on things that don’t deserve it, and start giving ourselves the grace we give to everyone else. We’re doing the best we can—and that’s more than enough.

Take a deep breath and remember - you’ve got this.